Dad, whatever you did at our age probably wasn’t legal.
Titanic (film) trivia: The swim dress was the biggest costume design challenge in the movie. Over 24 copies of it were made due to all the strain that was put on them from being in the water for all the action scenes. The dress had a tremendous amount of layers to it but James Cameron wanted it to look as if it was naked against Rose’s skin when soaked. In order to achieve that effect, Kate couldn’t wear any kind of wetsuit underneath her costume unlike all the other cast and crew members who were able to protect themselves from the freezing water.
My body is ready.
I know it’s mashed potatoes and gravy but is it bad that I thought it was ice cream and caramel?
…it is ice cream and caramel
why would anyone put mashed potatoes and gravy in an apple
I SWEAR TO GOD I THOUGHT IT WAS POTATO AND GRAVY
a project i literally did overnight
gonna make it a booklet…
oh no this broke me
SO I HEARD YOU LIKE AGGRESSIVE RECIPES? WELL HERE’S ONE FOR YOU, YOU PISS POOR COLLEGE STUDENT. YOU EVER GET TIRED OF BUYING PREMADE ALFREDO SAUCE AND HAVING IT TASTE LIKE SHIT? HELLS TO THE YES, YOU DO. I FUCKING KNOW IT. OR MAYBE YOU WANNA IMPRESS YOUR SIGNIFICANT OTHER WITH YOUR RADASS COOKING SKILLS, BECAUSE PASTA SAUCE IS HELLA BAMF.
YEAH. THOUGHT SO. SO RUN YOUR AWESOME ASSKICKING SELF TO THE STORE AND GRAB UP THESE OBJECTS, BASHING ZOMBIES AND BEING POLITE TO OLD LADIES ALONG THE WAY.
- 1 STICK OF BUTTER, BECAUSE WE NEED THAT MUCH AWESOMENESS.
- AN 8 OUNCE PACKAGE OF CREAM CHEESE. PHILIDELPHIA IS BADASS BUT GENERIC CHEESE BLOCKS IS JUST AS COOL.
- 2 CUPS OF GRADE A RADASS MILK. PREFERABLY FROM A COW. NOT SKIM. FUCK SKIM.
- 6 OUNCES OF GRATED PARMESAN CHEESE. NOW I KNOW WHAT YOU’RE THINKING; REM I DON’T HAVE TIME IN THE DAY BETWEEN KICKING TEETH OUT AND DRINKING TEA TO GRATE FUCKING PARMESAN. THE FUCK IS THIS? BUT THAT’S OKAY BECAUSE WE’VE GOT THIS HEAVENLY SHIT:
THIS IS WHAT YOU WANT. FORGET GRATING A BLOCK OF CHEESE, YOUR AN ASSKICKING MOTHERFUCKING BADASS, NOT AN ASTROPHYSICIST. (UNLESS YOU ARE. THEN YOU’RE BOTH, AND YOU REALLY DON’T HAVE TIME FOR THAT.)
- 2 TEASPOONS OF GARLIC POWDER. THIS IS PROBABLY ALREADY IN YOUR PANTRY SO CHECK AND SEE IF THE GARLIC FAIRY CAME BY TO GIVE YOU YOUR VAMPIRE KILLING CONCOCTION OF THE WEEK. IF THAT FLYING BITCH IS SLACKING DON’T WORRY, THIS SHIT IS IN THE SPICE SECTION.
- 1/8 OF A TEASPOON BLACK PEPPER. YOU MAY BE A BADASS RADASS, BUT DON’T USE ANY MORE, THIS SHIT IS THE DEVIL. TREAT WITH CARE.
ALRIGHT SO IF YOU’VE GOT ALL THIS SHIT IT’S TIME TO DO THE MIXING AND MASHING SO LET’S FUCKING GO.
GET ALL YOUR INGREDIENTS TOGETHER BECAUSE THIS STUFF COOKS UP HELLA FAST, LIKE HEAVY METAL HEADBANGING QUICK. PUT YOUR NOODLES ON BEFORE YOU START YOUR SAUCE.
CUT THE BUTTER AND CREAM CHEESE INTO CHUNKS SO THEY’LL MELT FASTER AND BE EASIER TO STIR IN. YOU DON’T HAVE TIME TO WATCH BUTTER MELT, YOU’VE GOT BETTER SHIT TO DO.
NOW GRAB A MEDIUM SIZED POT AND PUT IN ON THE STOVE AT A MEDIUM HEAT. MELT THE BUTTER CHUNKS BEFORE ADDING THE CREAM CHEESE AND THE GARLIC POWDER. GRAB A WHISK AND STIR THAT SHIT, STIR IT LIKE YOUR FUCKING IT INTO SUBMISSION.
MMM, LOOK AT THE WHITE CREAMINESS YOUR JUST MADE. IT’S CHUNKY AND GROSS, YOU SAY? KEEP FUCKING STIRRING IT, NERD. ONCE IT’S NOT GROSS AND CHUNKY, START ADDING YOUR MILK ABOUT HALF AS ONCE, THEN THE OTHER HALF. YOU KNOW, LIKE SEX. MAKING ALFREDO IS A GIANT SEX PUN.
NOW IT’S TIME TO STIR IN YOUR MOTHERFUCKING PARMESAN AND PEPPER. ONCE IT’S IN YOU’RE LITERALLY DONE, BUT IF IT LOOKS THIN SHAKE A LITTLE MORE PARMESAN RIGHT IN THERE. IT’LL LOOK THIN ON THE STOVE BUT TRUST ME IT’LL BE THICKER WHEN YOU TAKE THE 2 SECONDS TO LOOK AT IT ON YOUR PLATE OF NOODLES BEFORE SHOVING IT ALL INTO YOUR MOUTH BECAUSE GODDAMN ALFREDO CHRISTMAS HAS COME.
BLESS YOU. BLESS YOUR ALFREDO. PEACE, FUCKERS.
I ONLY USE HALF A STICK OF BUTTER, BUT THAT RECIPE IS WARRIOR-WORTHY, AND DELICIOUS AS FUCK!
now you know how people with glasses see.
WOAH is this how it really is?
YES THIS IS VERY ACCURATE